The great escape

We've all had a big week-long adios to my friend Jess and her family who have gone on holiday for three months before being sucked into the school-system vortex.

Yes that is three months, not three weeks all-inclusive, proper pre-kids style traveling - with kids. Madness or genius, we've as yet to find out! 

I just remember her booking the trip all hazy-eyed and dreamily talking about drinks on the beach while the kids sleep in the camper van. Course they'll sleep I thought and not fight and/or trash the camper and/or eat their passports. Seriously though, he who dares wins. They'll have an amazing time. 

Talking of school vortex's I've been sucked head-first into the murky mire of school selections for Batboy next year. It seems like our school choice was actually - 0. So we're selling up and moving out. Looking round houses is every snoopy woman's dream but with batboy and diva (aka catgirl) in tow it's a race against time. Diva's thrown a face-down full-blown tantrum on the floor of a newly-converted coach house, locked herself into a good-sized bedroom and lifted various small artifacts. Batboy liked the house with incredible hulk gloves but came a cropper in an Edwardian money pit. Turns out periphery vision isn't very good in the bat mask as he walked square into a worm-riddled door frame. Cue more screaming and tears while an agent tries to push me for an opinion. We've all run screaming from a couple of homes but I think we've settled on one (the one with the hulk gloves, we're such sheep). Still doesn't completely solve the schools mystery, whoops, but it's got a lovely garden. I'll just be glad when it's over as the whole schools/house search has been eating into valuable Facebook time.

Batboy gets hitched

It was just another ordinary day at nursery, but when I picked Batboy up and started to head home I could tell something was up. Was it his mask? Check, no. Was it his belt? Check, no, it was still sagging half-mast round his bum. There was a lightness in his step though, a certain look in his eye, then he fessed up. "I got married today". 

No mum needs to hear of their kid's wedding after the event but I kept my cool. It seemed Batboy had already forgotten his wife's name (it happens) but he told me she'd proposed and they "did the ceremony and everything" eloping to some corner of the nursery. 

Well Britney Spears step aside, it seems my boy's trumped her on the shotgun wedding stakes.

I was telling my mum-friend Jess all about it, whose daughter goes to the same nursery, and she said "I think I know that girl". My ears pricked up in a 'nonchalant but would love to know more about my daughter-in-law' sort of fashion. 

It turns out this 'Tara' has lots of blond curls and just loves boys, always chasing them trying to get a kiss and/or married. Then Jess reveals "she has a Ben 10 watch, which the boys love". 

Well, I have to hand it to her, what a player. Four and she can already read boys like a book. She hooks their interest with some alien-fighting merchandise, flutters her eyes and gets them down the aisle before they can say "Ben 10 alien force". 

Poor old Batboy's already a soft touch with the girls, so a novelty watch on a girl with curls would be like kryptonite to him. He didn't stand a chance. 

And now? Well he seems to be back on side with the boys at nursery but he's not forgotten her. He proudly announced he wrestled some glass/plastic slipper off another boy for her and she told him "you've rescued my heart". So I guess the honeymoon period isn't over yet, although its been quite crowded with Robin, Two Face and the Green Goblin all joining in. It's a pretty random mixed-up fantasy world they live in and long may it last.