What the tummy tuck?

NB: Click on the picture to see the details.

One for the mums here! Yup, I'm afraid the "over the bump or under the bump" waistline dilemma continues way past actually being pregnant. Lovely stuff. Felt a bit guilty this week after accusing my fella of suffering from manflu all weekend, it turns out he's got tonsillitis and an eye infection. On the plus side (for me) it means he's been stuck at home and once the eyepatch came off I got him to give me a quick lesson in photoshop. Yey. So you can expect the Batboy chronicles in technicolour from now on - if I have time. 

COMING SOON - "Batboy gets hitched"

Batboy & the dark night

It was three in the morning when Batboy appeared at the bedroom door and solemnly declared "I can't sleep when it's dark". It wasn't clear if it was just because the night light had died or because vigilantes only work at night, cleaning the streets of crime. Once the fug of sleep had drifted we realised it was because he'd been in bed since six in the evening sweating out a bad fever and was now feeling better and ready for books, dvds and general light entertainment. Cue "quality dad time" while I slope off to the spare room. 12 hours is enough for me, I don't do 24 hour ents.

This has been a bad week at no 44 Gotham city. It's rained all week and Batboy's been struck down by flu. At first I thought it was the man made fibres of the batsuit that was causing the sweats (we've all been there with the polyester). Then I realised it was internal, most likely picked up at that bug-breeding ground aka nursery.

Once the Calpol kicked in he would stagger off the sofa and insist I become Superman and join him in his crusade against all the baddies; Green Goblin, Two face etc. Then his temperature would go up again and he would crawl back under his blanket, which Catgirl thought was an elaborate and on-going game of Peekaboo. She would jump on top and pull it off his feverish face, creating a vicious circle of screaming and tears that could outstrip an X Factor final. 

Ah well, we're out the other side now and Batboy's having to take stock of the havoc wreaked by catgirl while he's been out of action. The Playmobil pirates have been stuffed in a teapot and Buzz lightyear is currently being held captive in catgirl's lair, wrapped in a "blankie". There's a lot to sort out but he's promised me he'll stick to the day shifts from now on.

Clarks farce

That's it, Clarks have blown it with Mrs B. I bet they're shaking in their well-designed footwear. Batboy was saying his pre-summer shoes were hurting, so I took him to the local branch of Clunkys footwear where they measured his feet then claimed they'd grown half a size. As there was no immediate choice other then the dullest pair of tan, can't even do it to a four-year-old, shoes we left. I then sent the old but perfectly good pair, complete with pointless flashing lights, to charity.  

Fast forward a week and I'm at the in-town, far more cosmopolitan, branch of Clunkys and they measure his feet again saying he hasn't grown at all and it's all a web of lies. They then proceed to roll out another selection of smart-casual frankenshoe nightmares.  We left in a cloud of fury, only to be alleviated by H&Mecca and a pair of cheap robot pumps. 

As it turns out we can't see the shoes anyway under the batman suit's spongey shoe covers. Why did I bother and will I get sued? Bring it on, I have righteousness and Batboy on my side...

Milkoholic

This was classic "grannygate" with her one-track mind when it comes to bottle talk. She's got our two for the whole night in a couple of days though, so I'm saying no more, as it's a bold and heroic gesture, she's sure to regret. Me and my fella are off to a "gig" in London. I know, what the "peaches geldof" I'm I thinking. Can hardly say the word gig anymore, let alone stand and jostle with sweaty bods for four hours, do enough of that at monkey business. 

Don't know who'll be more pooped though, her or us. There's sure to be a prime granny-ism, maybe she'll send bibby 1 off to nursery with a fun-size bottle of gin for lunch (better hide my secret stash).

Going insanesburys

Siblings, the early years

New beginnings

This is it, it's the post-swine flu blog clean up. Going to start again, the kids are being dispatched into childcare on a regular basis, with strict instructions not to mention they've had swine flu. Probably a bit lost on the one-year-old but you never know what they're spongey brains are soaking up, mostly Loose Women, but hey, it doesn't do me any harm. Anyway, going to have a mix of old stuff, new bits and sketchy bits. Yey, it's all good...